We’re all looking for LOVE, but if we’re honest, most of us aren’t even really sure how to love OR what we truly want from a relationship in the first place. It’s like getting in our car to go somewhere, but since we aren’t sure of the final destination, it’s impossible to say if and when we will arrive. To make matters more confusing, let’s presume that we don’t even know the make or the model of the car we are driving and we are low on fuel. A recipe for disaster!
I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how extremely painful it can be to put yourself out there time and time again, hoping to “fall in love” with “THE ONE” that will “complete you”, only to realize that your efforts have yielded nothing but heartache and loneliness. Getting lost in the drama of what you or s/he did or didn’t do, lack of trust, failure to communicate, ulterior motives, insecurities, resentment, and the list goes on . . .
Instead, we could be spending our valuable time “Rising in Love” by learning how to love ourselves first.
It’s hard to believe, but it has taken me 34 years to realize the importance of self-care and self-love — BEFORE ALL ELSE. Over the years I’ve been a chronic people pleaser, but somehow along the way I forgot how to please myself. I became comfortably uncomfortable making decisions to make everyone else happy (or what I thought would make them happy anyway), but it ultimately resulted in my own unhappiness. These days, I have been spending my valuable time paying more attention to myself. I’ve learned that my wants, my needs, and my desires are just as important as anyone else’s — Putting my needs on the back burner to appease others is something that I am training myself to NEVER do again.
I don’t regret a single one of my relationships, but if I’m honest, few (if any) of my partners have ever truly known the real me or cared to know the real me — beneath the surface of my looks (sex), perceived celebrity, or what they might stand to gain from dating me. Those that did, I’m grateful to, but somehow we still didn’t quite work out … Did we give up? Were we trying too hard? Did we go too fast? So many questions and too few answers it would seem, but that is the nature of putting ourselves on the market and learning how to love.
Truth be told, I’m not looking for anyone to complete me. I am already complete, but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t enjoy finding someone to “journey with” — someone that would embrace my light and dark parts just as I would theirs. It would be a true gift to stumble upon an organic connection sexually, spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually that could withstand the storms and continue to surprise me over the years, but until then — I remain committed to being to myself that which I hope to find in and be for a partner one day.
In closing, don’t worry about falling in love with anyone else! Instead, find new ways to “Rise in Love” with yourself each day … LIVE, LAUGH, and BE GRATEFUL for all of your blessings. You don’t need anyone else to complete you or to make you whole, however when the right person(s) does come along your cups will be overflowing with abundance.